My loneliness is eating me up and it scares me to no end.
I haven’t felt like this in a long time. Usually I can ignore my emotions, keep it all in a bottle and put a tight cap on it. But that’s the problem with bottling up your feelings, it only takes that one last trigger for it to finally overflow. Even a single escaped drop can break the toughest of walls and unleash a mighty flood gate of pain, guilt, self-loathing, resentment, sadness… and whatever else negative emotion you can think of.
“Forever alone.” We see it all the time on the internet, joke about it, and use it in the lightest of contexts. But what we often don’t realize is the darkness it holds. I dread to think of a future in where I grow old alone. I don’t want that for me. I yearn for that…
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