Conversations I Wish I Had

Questions I Ask Myself Regularly Since Becoming an “Adult”

Am I Thirty Yet

Jenna Marbles - One time I grew to be an adult, it sucked

Adulthood is hard and confusing. And leaves me with way more questions than answers.

1. Do rich people ever bother going to baby/bridal showers?

No one actually likes going to showers. If you really like going to showers, then we probably can’t be friends. Sorry, I don’t make up the rules. Who likes watching a person open 27 different types of dishes or dozens of packages of diapers? There’s a reason every shower has guests playing that BINGO gift game. The only redeeming qualities of any shower are the free food, free cake, and free alcohol. If I go to your shower and there is no wine, I am immediately leaving, but not before I piss in your wishing well. When you’re rich, the word free means nothing to you. They don’t need to sit through a rousing game of “Guess what’s in the bride’s bag?” just for free cake. Also…

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This entry was posted on August 28, 2014 by .
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